A friend of mine once told me that they would NEVER read the Grimm’s stories to their children. I asked them ‘why?’ “Because I don’t want to have my child filled with fear.”
I was raised on the tales the Grimm Brothers recorded, as well as Hans Christian Andersen and The Thousand and One Nights, and many other folk tales and fairy stories that weren’t in those canons, some of which were told first-hand, without books. One of the saddest stories I heard was when we were visiting part of Wales as a young child, a town called Beth Gellert. Beth is Welsh for ‘grave.’ Gellert was a wolf hound. I am sure you can look the story up on-line. We went to see the stone where the dog is supposedly buried. It’s a brutal and heart-breaking tale about love, but there was something about it I fell in love with. It taught me to ask questions and not to act rashly, without thinking. It gave me more compassion. And there were other stories like Hansel and Gretel that were super scary and made me hide under the pillows. But I listened every time those stories were told to my brother and me and loved them. Maybe I liked the thrill, like going on a roller-coaster ride. Maybe because it was teaching me something. My parents divorced, and like Hansel and Gretel I felt abandoned. But they got through it and so did I. I met crazy people like the witch, and I knew to keep my cool so I would figure something out. Other folk tales told me some strangers were dangerous, but there were others who would be helpers, and to be on the look out for both kinds.
When I had kids of my own, I was already telling folk and fairy tales, and as I read more, and heard more storytellers working their craft and art, I added more spooky tales. Some of them had a great deal of humour within them. Others not so much. Some were jump stories (designed to make people jump out of their chairs), some were just plain dark, but even these stories had something to teach.
I knew, and still believe this to be true, that people need to hear scary stories. Especially kids, and here’s why. When you tell children appropriately scary stories they get that thrill, and are scared just enough to learn about fear. But they are in a safe and loving environment, and you, as the care provider, parent, grandparent, can talk about the stories with the child afterwards. And you can ramp it up slowly until they tell you when to stop.
They learn to handle fear. Not become desensitized to fear, but learn to cope with it. In that safe environment. When they face fear for real the very first time and you are not around, they will have a coping mechanism in place, and won’t, we hope, freeze, but have an idea of how to act, or at least retain some hope which many of the stories end with.
Something happened to a friend of my daughter’s when she was about six years of age. She asked me to read to her the story of Little Red Riding Hood. She asked me to read it to her four times that night, which was something she had never done before. We might read one story twice, but she liked different stories. When the same thing happened the next day, I told my wife and she said something had happened to one of our daughter’s friends. It was nothing too scary, but it was not a good thing by any means. I realized that she was processing the what had happened through the story. Because I told my kids these stories, they knew the ones that would help them.
So as we approach Halloween, Samhain (pronounced: soaw-awn - like the female pig and an - sow-an) an d there are events where scary stories are happening, take your kids! Sit and listen to the end of the story, they usually end with hope and happily. Don’t leave half-way through, there will be a resolution that the kids need to hear! You can even pretend to be a little scared yourself when you’re with them so they can see that although you are scared, it’s okay to be frightened.
Have fun with spooky stories. Like any other folk and fairy tale, like most myths and legends, there are lessons there for all of us to learn.
A list of spooky stories I tell is right here: CLICK ME!